Stop Praying for God to Send You a Husband

stop praying for God to send you a husband pin


If you’re familiar with my blogs then you know I am the biggest advocate of prayer. I believe that prayer is one of the most powerful  resources we have and one of the highest acts of love that we can show to another. I actually don’t think we give prayer enough credit seeing as how we tend to use it as a last resort rather than the first option. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my life would not be what it is without prayer whether it’s people praying for me or me praying for myself. I always marvel at the fact that Jesus- the Messiah, the Christ, God Himself would often be recorded in the scriptures as rising early in the morning to separate himself from others and pray. If Jesus had to do it then surely I must be intentional and diligent about doing the same. There is a difference, however, between just plain old praying and effective prayer. Prayer should not be a time for us to just rattle off a list of requests for God to grant as if he is some sort of genie. Instead, it is an opportunity for us to partner with what God wants to do on earth as it is in heaven.

You may be wondering why for years you have been asking God to send you a husband. You may have even asked Him to send you a particular type of husband, or even more specifically, you may have asked him to bring you a particular person who you already know. Now, you may be wondering if God is so good, why He has yet to bring you the desire of your heart. After all God’s Word says in Psalm 37:4 that if we delight ourselves in the Lord then He would give us the desire of our heart. Yes, God will give us the desires of our heart but it is not automatic; that promise, like so many other promises in the Bible is conditional. Pay close attention to the first part of the verse. It says that IF we delight ourselves in the Lord THEN He will give us the desires. The desires do not come before the delight. The reason why delighting ourselves in the Lord is a condition to be met before God grants us the desires is because He knows that when we delight in Him meaning when we spend time with Him (and enjoy it) and fellowship with Him and find our joy in Him-as we do all those things we begin to take on His very nature more and more. You cannot spend time in the presence of God and remain the same. Instead, the more time we spend the more He’s able to rid us of all those things that are not like Him. Unknowingly, we begin having heart changes and thought process changes and eventually, our DESIRES even begin to change. Notice also that this verse says delight yourself in the LORD. The Bible is very intentional with its words. It could have said delight yourself in God or in any other name that we use for God but instead it uses Lord. See many people know God as Savior, but not as Lord. When you acknowledge God as Lord over your life then you give Him authority to rule over every single area of it; nothing is off limits. This is another way His desires for us becomes our desires for ourselves.

I’m very familiar with this process. Before, I was used to a specific type of guy and I had no interest in switching up my preference, but little by little as I became more like Christ, the things I valued most in a man began to change and I found myself being more open to individuals I would have never considered before. Both my eyes and my heart had been opened. Eventually I got rid of the list in my head (and the one I wrote on paper) and told God that I would honestly be happy with any guy He saw fit for me. 3 months later, John and I started dating. What happened? God had finally given me the desire of my heart, but only once the desire of my heart aligned with His desire for me because I had been delighting myself in Him. Sometimes, we can think that we like a certain type of person or we want a certain thing, but when we finally get it we might find that that person or that thing doesn’t work for us at all. But our true heart’s desires are hidden in Christ so we must go through Him to find them. In that moment, during my car ride with the Lord when I surrendered my list to Him, He knew that I truly meant what I said, and He was finally able to give me what my heart longed for all along, but just didn’t know it. I found everything I needed and wanted in John and more; when we got together it felt like home. Those are the types of results you can expect to receive when you delight yourself in the Lord and allow Him to give you the desires of your heart.

So instead of continuing to praying and asking God to send you a husband, I want you to pray a little differently. I want you to pray for yourself and I want you to pray FOR your  future husband (even if you have no idea who that is). Why should you pray this way? Well, remember that prayer is an opportunity to partner with heaven to see God’s will be done here on earth. God will not grant certain desires until He knows you are ready to receive them. Many times we have some preparing, processing and maturing to do before we can enter into different seasons of our lives, and by not praying effectively, we could be hindering and delaying that process because our attitudes and actions are not yet lining up with the promises of God.

If you’re not sure where to start, I highly recommend praying the Ephesians prayer over yourself at least once per day. This can be found in Ephesians 1:17-23 and it’s the prayer that Paul prayed over the believers at Ephesus. I started praying this over myself a few years ago, and believe me it is so powerful. I pray it over every single person who I mentor, coach or counsel and God never ceases to amaze me with the results that come as a result. This is basically  a prayer for spiritual wisdom and it will serve as the foundation of everything in your life spiritually. When I pray for myself I just replace the word “you” with the words “I” “me” or “my” to make it personal. For example, “Father God I pray that you would grant me the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of you, the eyes of my understanding being enlightened that I may know what is the hope of your calling…..”

You can pray this prayer over your future husband as well. I did this a few times when I was single, but only when I was led to as to not begin idolizing the thought of being married. I prayed that God would give him the Spirit of wisdom and revelation. I  prayed that he was growing in the Word and in his relationship with God. I prayed that everything he puts his hands to prospers and several other things as I was led. Do you know that when we got together he would tell me about everything that was going on in his life at the time. I found out that he was growing in his relationship with God more than ever, he was prospering at work more than ever and so on and so on. God was literally answering my prayers before I even knew the WHO, and God could not put us together until some of those things came to pass. God knew I didn’t want a spiritually immature man so He led me to pray for him in that area, giving me the opportunity to partner with Him to cause it to come to pass.. Do you get it?  So you pray how you see fit and how you are led to for your future. It  may be different for you because  only God knows exactly what areas you and your future mate needs to grow in before you can both come together.

It’s called insanity if we continue to do the same things over and over yet expecting different results. So switch up your prayer strategy to avoid being delayed in your destiny. Most of the time, we are not waiting on God at all, He is the one waiting on us.

Still Hidden in Him,

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