There was not one relationship post dedicating my life to Christ where God was silent. I don’t mean that He audibly spoke, but He definitely had an opinion about every single guy I decided to involve myself with. Each time, He spoke to me in different ways, but each time He was trying to send the same message: That’s not your husband. I’ll admit that I didn’t listen and had to learn my lessons the hard way so I’m going to share 3 candid stories of how God was leading me in the hopes that it saves you some time and heartbreak or maybe even confirm that you’re headed in the right direction. Here’s 3 ways God may be trying to lead you:
Through His still small voice
The very first time I recall God speaking to me about a guy was very shortly after I dedicated my life to Him. I was so very immature in the things of God, and I was still learning to hear His voice. Well one particular night during a church service, I heard Him loud and clear. This new guy I was dating decided to join me in service, and everything was going pretty well at first. Towards the end of the night however, I heard a still small voice whisper very matter of factly to me these words: he’s going to tell you that you’re his wife.” I wouldn’t say this was an audible voice. It was more like when you hear your own thoughts inside of your head, but a little different because it rises from a place deep within you so you know it’s not your own. You tend to hear your thoughts inside your mind….in your head….on a very surface level. You will know it’s the still small voice of God because you will hear it originate from deep down within your heart (not your physical heart) or your “gut” (this is your spirit) and you will know it was not your idea at all.
As I tried to process what I had just heard, I was pretty shocked because at that point I had only known this guy for a week or two, but I was also pretty excited because to me that meant that I had found my husband. Spoiler alert. That’s NOT what that meant at all. I’ll explain in a bit. So sure enough when church was over, dude walks me to my car and says he has something to tell me. At this point I’m thinking OMG this is it, he’s really about to say it. So, he proceeds to tell me that God spoke to Him and told him that I am his wife. I should’ve ran for the hills right then and there, but I didn’t. I stuck around for awhile, dated this guy, almost compromised my purity for this guy and was engaged to this guy for all of one day before ending it altogether.
Let me tell you where I went wrong. Even though I heard God tell me through that still small voice that “he was going to tell me I’m his wife”, God never confirmed that I was indeed his wife, He just said that dude was going to tell me that. God is very precise about the words He uses, and He wastes nothing. This was more of a warning from God letting me know what was about to occur, sort of like a heads up rather than a “this is what it is”. Here’s what I learned from that situation. If someone tells you that “God said” you are their wife (or if they tell you anything that God supposedly said for that matter), it should not be new news to you. Instead, it should be a confirmation meaning God should have already placed that on your heart or told you explicitly. That was the case for me when my now husband told me that I was his wife. God had already told me 3 days prior in order to prep me for when John approached me about it. I was prepared for what he was going to say, I had complete and total peace, and it was more like a “oh yeah I already know” rather than a “Whaat? This is news to me.” Get my drift?
Don’t just take my word for it though, let me give you an example from the Bible. In Acts Chapter 10 (read it) when God was about to make known the Good News of the gospel to the Gentiles, he gave Cornelius a vision and an angel advised him to send two men to call for Peter. Around this same time, in a completely different town, he was also giving Peter a vision and then explicitly told Peter that He was sending the men for him. In other words, God was informing and preparing each party for the news that He was trying to convey so that it would be confirmation for the both of them. Remember, up until that time, the Good News was only for the Jewish people. Since this was such a new concept and a big thing to be announced, God knew that He had to have it confirmed in each individual so that there would be no doubting that this is in fact from the Lord.
So was that guy I was dating lying on God? I’m not sure. I tend to believe that he just missed it like we sometimes do. I just know that I will never rely on someone else’s information from God. Instead, I will forever cultivate my own relationship with Him because if I’m in constant fellowship with Him, there’s no reason why God wouldn’t give me a heads up on these things beforehand.
The second time I remember God trying to lead me in a relationship is with a guy who I really thought might be the one. We discussed marriage, he was really into God, he knew his purpose, and it even seemed to line up with mine. Why wouldn’t this be it right? Wrong! After dating this guy for a little, I had a dream. When God is trying to convey a message to me through dreams it’s usually symbolic rather than literal, and it’s usually after He has tried to speak to me in other ways, but I wasn’t listening. That was the case in this relationship. God had already been tugging at my heart to let this relationship go, but I didn’t listen because I didn’t think I could ever find a better fit for me. Bad move on my part. In the dream, I was escorted to the top of a high rise office building where I met with some men in suits at a round table-sort of like a conference room. The men had on shades and everything;it felt like Men in Black to be honest lol. It was sort of a comical scene, but I could tell the dream was very serious and the men meant business. As I sat down, the men stared intently at me with their hands folded on the desk, and then began speaking to me. They said, “You have so much potential, but if you continue with this guy you will mess it all up.” When I woke up, I completely understood what God was trying to convey. I knew that this guy was not the one He had in mind for me, and he wanted me to end it. Unfortunately, I didn’t listen. We continued dating for a little while longer until he broke up with me stating it’s what the Lord was leading him to do leaving me hurt and heartbroken. I could’ve avoided all of that had I just listened to God’s 1st, 2nd and 3rd warning, but I didn’t. Thank God for His grace and His mercy though because He never gave up on me.
Through inner peace
This is one of the most common ways in which God leads us. If we would learn to practice and adhere to the peace of God, then we would save ourselves a whole lot of trouble. What do I mean by inner peace? Well, have you ever been in a situation or in the middle of making a decision, but you didn’t quite feel settled? Maybe you just didn’t have a good feeling in your “gut” about it or “something” was telling you not to do it. Well that means that your peace was disturbed. That was in fact the Holy Spirit attempting to lead you in the middle of the circumstance or decision. If you are born again, then you automatically have the Holy Spirit dwelling in you, and He is a helper. The more we take heed to His leading and guiding, the more He will help, and the easier it will become to recognize Him. I was reading an old journal recently where I was writing about a guy I was talking to at the time. He seemed to have some good things going for himself, he texted or contacted me everyday and he seemed to be a real believer. The thing is though, in the journal I was really questioning if I should continue talking to him because something just did not seem right. He hadn’t really done anything in particular to make me suspicious, I just did not have any PEACE to pursue a relationship with this person.
Sure enough, this situationship did not end well. It turns out, this guy was in a whole relationship, and I only found out because we happened to be at the same exact concert (in a city where I didn’t even live), parked in the same section, and we happened to be leaving out of the parking lot at the same time. Now you tell me that wasn’t God! He obviously wanted me to see that this wasn’t going anywhere. Once again, I should’ve broken it off when God was leading me, this time through my inner peace, but I didn’t and had to learn the hard way. This one didn’t hurt as bad as the last one of course because we were not even in a relationship, but it’s still no fun being lied to by someone you invested time in and saw as a prospective mate.
I am completely convinced that God will lead us and guide us in our relationships if we allow Him to. In fact, He will lead us in every single area of our lives if we invite Him to do just that. The thing about being led by God though is you have to practice hearing from Him. The more time you spend with Him, and the more you cultivate a relationship with Him, the more proficient you will become in this. You can probably pick your best friend’s voice out of a sea of other voices. Why is that? Because you have spent plenty of time with your best friend and you know them on an intimate level. God’s voice will not be familiar to you if you have not learned how to filter it from all of the other voices in the world including your own voice as well as the voice of the enemy. Trust me, these days you NEED to know how to be led by God. It’s not enough to read an article stating “How You Will Know He’s the One” and things of that nature. All of those things are great for reference, but you want to have the specifics for your situation, and God wants to help you with that. I’ve included some scriptures at the end for you to meditate on which will help you with being led by God. Pin it, screenshot it, save it..do whatever you have to do, but make sure you get them in your heart.
Still hidden in Him,